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Gone are the days where ignorance was bliss. Growing up in Southeast Texas, it’s probably safe for you to assume the manner in which I was raised. Everyone was presumably disgustingly racist, but no one spoke about it. A business owner wouldn’t turn away a homosexual, but they sure wouldn’t make you feel welcome. I respected my parents and my friends’ parents. My grandmothers set up elaborate tea parties and made Thanksgiving dinner. My grandfathers gardened and played the guitar. I couldn’t see what was in their heart of hearts. But it was “nice.” Everyone was “nice.”
The internet has shown me things I can’t unsee; changed my perception of those I once loved dearly and am now ashamed of. My grandmother shares a post about how Black Lives Most Certainly Do Not Matter and my brother-in-law regurgitates “killary” with every breath. What a glorious time to be alive.
Shirkey mentions that “The current loss of consensus is a better reflection of the real beliefs of the American polity than the older centrism” (2012). Before, everything was hush-hush, swept under the rug. While it is disheartening to see the hatred and lack of compassion from my family, I almost take comfort in this fact. Because of the ability to comment on any situation (gay marriage, gun laws, abortion, the election, feminism) we are able to see people for who they truly are, whether we agree with them or not. There is an important price to pay for this: accountability. You don’t get to deny that two days ago you commented “#Repealthe19th” on a Fox News Facebook post because I saw it. It popped up in my newsfeed.
In a podcast I listened to recently, Totally Married, the host, Elizabeth Laime, shared a sentiment that I have been feeling but couldn’t quite put into words. She reflected that although it’s painful, now that everyone is out in the open we can see what we are truly dealing with. There’s no more hiding behind that smile, no more sitting idly by as people are discriminated against with no one to fight for them. Change is happening. Progress is coming. Now that we’re all at least talking about it, perhaps we could reach an agreement.
Hey Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI certainly feel your pain, sometimes ignorance is bliss--and I do often wonder, is it better for me to be hurt by the truth--but to know it? Or to ignore it and have everyone be "nice." I think in the end, despite the sadness and the pain, I'd rather know the truth. I absolutely love how you ended your blog post this week:
"She reflected that although it’s painful, now that everyone is out in the open we can see what we are truly dealing with. There’s no more hiding behind that smile, no more sitting idly by as people are discriminated against with no one to fight for them. Change is happening. Progress is coming. Now that we’re all at least talking about it, perhaps we could reach an agreement. "
It really is a powerful thought, I've had to delete and unfriend a lot of people, I've also realized that I don't need certain people in my life. Friends from HS, distant relatives, they get upset when I unfriend them for "trivial" reasons, but I don't need or want that negativity in my life and I think they should learn that their actions have consequences. If you're a hateful person, you'll end up losing friend, or worse, you'll end up alone. Perhaps it can be an incentive for them to change, perhaps not, but at least you know you're on the right path, surrouding yourself with the right people--the people you aren't ashamed to call your friends/family, the people you're proud to have in your life, and the lives of your potential future children. You know?
Great post!